A YEAR IN TIME

Twelve months ago
In an instant you were taken
Nothing left to cling to
Hope and faith now shaken
Never knew a heart could be destroyed
The way they blew away mine
A lifetime gone in an endless second
Forever changed, a year in time

Eleven months ago
Praying to some invisible god
Hoping against all reason
Though hope might be but a fraud
Even with a heart sinking fast
With tears begging not to fall
Pretending you’d be there in the end
Somehow, some way you’d be there after all

Ten months ago
Watching the ruins dragged away
Bulldozed over, planning a rebirth

Fearing I’m losing you along the way
Uncertain which is worse
To hear the final word or never know
Feeling somewhere deep inside
I should have been the one to go

Nine months ago
Time enough for a life to start or end
The words hit like a car wreck-you’re found
And now you won’t be coming home again
Never knew life could be ripped in two
The way those words tore apart mine
A lifetime vanished in an eternal minute
How things change in just a year in time

Eight months ago
Goodbyes should be said and done
They sent you off in a blaze of glory
But I couldn’t let go when you were the only one
I cannot seem to let you go
Not for a minute, not for good
To wait on that truck and have to see
Only empty space where you once stood

Seven months ago
A new year searching for meaning
And I stare out that door day after day
Searching for the one face I won’t be seeing
And still so many souls never made it out
Time’s up and they’ve been left behind
While their families look for any answer
And there just are none to find

Six months ago
Your face haunts me no matter where I go
Maybe you’re there just because I need you
And if it’s a lie, I don’t want to know
Never knew a soul could ache this bad
Could bleed as much as mine
All the strength and courage I depended on
All gone now, just a year in time

Five months ago
Spring was born and made a world anew
It should have been a brand new start
But it just feels empty without you
That goodbye that should be over and done
Alights and freezes on my lips
I just can’t give in to such betrayal
This broken heart may yet still rip

Four months ago
They made their plans to build upon the pyre
When every time I see those ruins
I see you walking again into the fire
The embers that still singe my soul
Waiting for a reason to burn
The lump that lingers in the back of my throat
And patiently waits its turn

Three months ago
Summer dawned without a sun
And dark, cloudy skies sent their wind
They whisper in my ear that this will never be over and done
Never new a pain could last this long
And twist this heart of mine
A lifetime extinguished in one frozen moment
That one moment a year in time

Two months ago
I was still counting the growing days
Marking a lifetime without you
And memories that will forever stay
Never knew a loss could cut this deep
Leaving a hole in this heart of mine
The life we shared a moment ago
That moment now a year in time

One month ago
I was worried you’d become just a memory
But I keep your picture at my side
So you may watch over me
Never knew that love could last through hell
Could hold for ransom this heart of mine
Love that will outlive the both of us
That could never end in a year in time

TOUCH THE SKY

I woke up this morning

Like it was any other day

With my eyes closed I could feel you

By my side where you lay

Took a shower and made our breakfast

In the sweet breaking dawn

Cleared the table, went to kiss you

And found you were gone

And this is all strangely familiar

This has happened before

Three hundred sixty five days now

Since you walked out that door

Your photo still sits

On my desk as I work

I smile back at your smile

Somewhere sorrow lurks

But it stays at the edges

In the shadows right now

So I can keep moving forward

Some way, somehow

Make the drive home

You know I could do it in my sleep

Thinking only of being with you once again

Of all those promises I need to keep

I unlock the door

Reach to turn on the light

I change out of the day’s stress

And settle into the night

Supper is waiting now

I wait at the table too

Everything is just right

All that’s missing is you

The dishes are put away

And I watch the moonlight dawn

Climbed into bed and turned to kiss you

And found that you were gone

This is all very familiar

Yes, this has all happened before

Three hundred sixty five days now

Since you disappeared out that door

And this all too familiar

All this has happened so many times before

A year’s worth of heartbreak and tears

Since I watched you walk out that door

And if I’d known it was the last time

If I’d known it was goodbye

I would have made sure that you’d known

How you helped me touch the sky

So easy to take it for granted

When you’re right there every day

So easy to regret it

Now that you’ve gone away

And I can’t believe it’s been a year

It seems but a moment, it seems forever

I keep looking up to see you walk in

But that tomorrow exists in never

And this is all so strangely familiar

This has all happened before

Three hundred sixty five days gone by

Since I watched you walk out that door

I still keep reaching and hoping

For your hand to be there to hold

But my own hand closes on empty air

And I shiver from the sudden cold

Some days my mind refuses to believe

And I try to live in yesterday

But reality always finds me

And the truth still shows the way

But if I’d known it was the last time

If I’d known it was goodbye

I would have made sure that I told you

How together we touched the sky

The impossible was within reach as long as I was with you

There was nothing I couldn’t see, nothing I couldn’t be or do

And I admit I took it for granted

When you were by my side every day

But there’s nothing more expensive than regret

Now that you’ve gone away

And every moment of this is familiar

Each second of each moment has happened before

Three hundred sixty five days

An entire year, a lifetime of its own

Since I watched you walk out that door